In the name of so many things we have done and said so many things to various people and in turn only really have harmed ourselves. We have hurt them and they have hurt us. Nevertheless, we will never be at peace until we make amends with such people, including those very intimate people in our lives. We have the opportunity while we are still in a body and there are with us in our field of awareness (that is still around in the same town, etc.) We have the golden moment in time when they are still alive to really say how we feel, what happened and to truly make amends for who and what we are and where we are and were coming from. As long as it does not harm them we have this chance.
We will never be at peace in this lifetime, between lives or in future lives until such amends are made. The heart will remain haunted as I have written recently. There will always be the feeling, "what if? what could have been? What was I thinking by not doing so? What would it have done to not come forward in the right way?"
We do not have to wait for the other person; it is up to us particularly when they have tried. Facing others means facing ourselves and this can be scary for many, but it does not have to be.
It takes calmness, honesty, and sincerity. It requires turning around 180 degrees in our lives to realize that what we have been doing is not working and that our actions and behaviors affected others in negative ways. It means realizing that we were wrong and reducing and reeducating our ego to realize that it is okay to be wrong. We are still good people but we had done things that are harmful.
Making amends requires trust: trust in our own strength and the strength of someone to listen to our story. It does not mean necessarily total restoration of anything, although that is possible if two people are really willing. When a mirror is broken and repaired it is never quite the same when the pieces are put back together, is it not so? It does not mean only that we are sorry. It means that we go into who and what we were and are and what made us who we are today. It means stating that the past cannot be brought back but that we take responsibility for our part in what happened in any given situation and empathize that our actions affected the other person in whatever way. We put ourselves in their shoes and mirror back to them that we understand that what we did created very strong and difficult feelings for them. In this heart to heart--it is not only about us--it is about understanding them and sharing and making them see that we realize that what did affected them in very deep ways. We honestly share our feelings and what we did and why, if we know. We speak about forgiveness and ask forgiveness. We can only present our side. The other party has the option to do with whatever we say and share. And,
However when we do this, our consciousness is gradually cleared; we make room for more love in our heart. The cobwebs in our heart are brushed away. The haunted feeling lifts as more light can enter the house of the heart that is spooked by so many factors.
It is only then that we have a real new chance at life and living---it is all part of purifying the inner heart.
Dr. R
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